I recently wrote a piece for Loveawake dealing with the topic of jealousy. We all experience this feeling in our lives at certain times, some more than others. Maybe you’re jealous that a co-worker got a promotion you thought you deserved. Maybe your sister seems to get all the attention and praise in the family. Or maybe your last boyfriend flirted with every woman in the room when you went to parties together. It can show up anywhere, especially when you least want it to.

I’ve noticed that my jealousy spikes when I’m scrolling through Facebook. Sometimes it feels like everyone else has so much success or exciting news to report, but I’m somehow being left behind. I have to stop myself sometimes, because it drives me nuts. It’s like when I was a teenager, if I stayed home on a Saturday night, I assumed everyone else at my school was out at some secret party that I wasn’t invited to. Facebook is not an accurate depiction of anyone’s real life. It’s smoke and mirror

It’s hard to admit feeling jealous. Most of us brush it off, sometimes by blaming the other person or pretending nothing is wrong. But has this helped you overcome your anger, your fear, or your jealousy? Probably not. Jealousy can motivate us, but it can also get in the way. When you feel jealous of your boyfriend or girlfriend, it’s a good idea to check yourself and separate the truth from the story you tell yourself.

Instead of moaning that all men are the same, ask yourself how your boyfriend actually treats you. Is he honest with you, or do you find that you can’t count on him? If he’s flirting with other women or texting at odd hours, listen to your gut and confront him. On the other hand, if he’s treating you with respect and you still search through his messages, it’s time to see where that jealousy is coming from. Bottom line, trust your gut.